:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
