The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
