Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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