just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
