Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
