Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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