New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
