the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
