Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
