sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it glows. i had to have it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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