is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
