I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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