DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
