Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
