she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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