He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You took a bar mat shot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
