god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
foreskin is a definite game changer
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
