A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
