You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
