he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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