Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
