just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
