peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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