he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
