I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
