some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
