Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
