She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
