There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
