I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
