Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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