i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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