he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
