and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
two words...techno handjob
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
