Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
