i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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