your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Randomize
