'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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