it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
