Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
