I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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