So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
