You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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