i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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