what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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