Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm like, not good at living.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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