You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
3 2 1 whiskey
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
