Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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