Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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