whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Randomize
