Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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