Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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