K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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